Swimming

Well, here I am, swimming.  I dove in, and sometimes I don't think I can see land but I'm still swimming.  The fact that I haven't drowned is an accomplishment, I think!

School has started, and with it, homework.  Mary Poppins had her first day with us today, and it was a rousing success.  Work is a bit crazy right now, but manageable.  I'm making lunches, walking the dog more days than not, keeping the house in decent order, holding my temper with Bryan and trying very hard to be Zen yet maintain boundaries (tricky territory).  There is doghair in the corners, a zillion projects left undone, but the important stuff is happening.

But oh dear God I am tired.

Friends came over all day Sunday, and one friend had a bit of a crisis and needed support until past Katherine's bedtime on Sunday, and though I was so glad to help her out, it exhausted me.  I needed down time with a book on Sunday - I'd actually planned for it! - and it didn't happen, which means that I started Monday by being exhausted.  Oh, and it was Bryan's weekend with Katherine, but I ended up having her all day Sunday....and he asked me to take her Friday night and part of Saturday too, but I said no.  On Saturday I had commitments that had me really busy and not relaxing at all, so I'd been counting on that Sunday downtime.

Which means that by this Friday I will be completely losing it unless I can pull of another miracle.

But to keep it in perspective....

One of Katherine's classmates lost his father this weekend.  The dad was young and healthy, but there was an accident, and now a nine year old boy has become fatherless.  Today grief counselors came to the school to help the kids.  Katherine told me only two people cried, and she was one of them.  Sensitive soul that she is, this does not surprise me.  I'm glad she's processing, that she could talk to me about it, that there was someone there to help.

Prayers for the family for whom nothing will ever be the same.  Prayers that the little boy will find comfort.  Prayers for the life cut short too soon.  Prayers for my sensitive daughter.  Prayers that I can keep perspective on my own problems, remembering how blessed I really am.

That's a lot of prayers for an agnostic Unitarian Universalist.  I might have to stop calling myself an agnostic if I keep this up.  Right now, though, I'm too tired to consider my own theology.  I just need the prayers.