But they did.
As soon as I knew that Bryan had told them that we were getting a divorce, I emailed each one of them with a similar message telling them how important they were to me, that I would try to honor Bryan even in divorce, that they were always welcome in my life, that I would encourage Katherine's relationship with each of them, that I was sorry it had come to this. I got back beautiful responses from each of them; responses that made me sob with relief and joy. They still love me, and I love them.
I have stayed in touch with them over the past year, but have only seen a small handful of them. Bryan doesn't stay in close touch with them either, so that means that Katherine has limited contact with them, too, and I don't think that's good for her. She's losing her nuclear family in one home, she doesn't need any more loss. I promised myself that I would encourage her relationships with extended family, and I meant it.
So, I planned a girls' weekend with the exlaws. (What to call this group?! Though technically they're still my inlaws, they must have another name for post divorce. Exlaws will do for now.) A group of us got together this weekend in a town a couple hundred miles from where Katherine and I live, and she and I road tripped.
Since there were several of us from out of town meeting, Katherine and I stayed with her oldest cousin, who is married and pregnant with her first child; Katherine had been her flower girl. I slept on the sofa, Katherine got an air mattress, and it wasn't deluxe but it was fun and frankly reminded me of college days. (I will not complain about my back or the loud neighbors who came in at 1am and talked in the hallway, because then I will sound like an old lady. So I'll just be quiet.)
We ladies went to a tea house together, and then we shopped in the cute little local stores.