Sunday, February 3, 2013

Breathe...panic....ski....breathe....

Well, Katherine and I hit the slopes.  She's a bit unsure about skiing, but I remembered how much I love it.

I didn't ski for thirteen years.  It's hard to believe.  A good metaphor for my marriage: less physical activity, less speed, less outdoor time, less fun.  But I took a lesson, and I could ski an intermediate run, which doesn't make me amazing at any level but it was a blast.

Now I'm home, though, and it's hard not to be too scared.  Tomorrow, a doctor will take a knife to my breast to determine whether or not the cancer has returned.

But I skiied.  I came home, tended to Katherine (who has a nasty cold, and it's the week of the school play and she's not supposed to miss a single rehearsal...drat!).  I made chicken vegetable soup (good for Katherine's cold and my soul).  Loads of laundry.  Grocery store.  Pet store.  I'm trying to keep it together....

Breathing.  Remembering my inner light, the joy that is part of me.  Panicking.  Breathing again, remembering that I can ski again.  Panicking.  Breathing....breathing...

Thank you for your continued good wishes and prayers.

*****

In other news, Bryan dog-sat at my house (because it's his dog too and his apartment doesn't allow dogs).  He left me messes to clean up (seriously?), and he refused to say so much as "Good luck tomorrow" or "I'm sorry you have to deal with this."  Seriously?  Thirteen years of marriage, a shared child, and he can't even tell me that he hopes I don't have cancer again?  Wow.  Good riddance.  I am so better off without THAT in my life.  Sorry, hard to find a PollyAnna joy in that - just glad that I don't have to be married to someone that uncaring.

I may be PollyAnna, and I may be working hard at creating my beautiful new life, but I sure got divorced for good reasons.  It's not all roses all the time around here.  (sigh)

1 comment:

  1. So sorry you have to deal with that sort of nastiness. Good riddance sounds about right. And checking in here regularly... to see how you're doing.

    xo

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