Damnit.

I'm home from the oncologist.  There's a weird spot under my "good" breast, and I need follow up.

Bring on the panic attacks.

It's "probably nothing."  But when you've heard that before and then you have 16 rounds of chemotherapy, 33 rounds of radiation, fifteen surgeries, and a LOT of side-effect-inducing scary meds for six years, well, "probably nothing" isn't enough to bring my blood pressure down.

So, I'm scheduling an ultrasound.  If you pray, please pray for me.  If you don't pray, consider it.  I also take white light, thoughts, karma, candle-lighting, and good wishes.

It is hard for me to function when I go down this path.  I've been down this path before.  Sometimes it ends with surgery (twice so far).

There's a lesson in this, there's something for me.  Okay, life, I'm listening.

I'm so tired.