Today I enter a marathon four hour mediation session with Bryan.
I am determined to find the Divine in all of this, to remember that all human beings have worth and value and deserve to be treated with dignity. I will remember that he comes from a place of pain, and that though I can not understand his pain, I can respond with compassion.
I am also determined to bring to light the Divine within myself, as I am also of value and worth, and I too deserve to be treated with dignity. I will stand up for myself, and I will do it with kindness.
At the end of this day, I would like to have a formal separation decree that includes formalizing child support and home ownership in a way that helps Katherine and I. But I'd also still like to have my integrity, and I'd like to be fair to Bryan.
And then I will finish up my work day, go home to collect Katherine, and hit the road to go to my in-laws. My father in law is very ill, and perhaps at the end of his life. I want to tread gently into this, honoring him, honoring the family that is Katherine's blood.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I am over my head, frightened of all that I must do.
When I breathe in, I breathe in peace; when I breathe out, I breathe out love.
I hope I remember to breathe!
Thinking of you.......... I remember that nerve wracking day. It actually took 2 of those sessions for us. Sending peace and love.
ReplyDeleteYep, I never want to relive MY non-divine mediation experience either!
ReplyDeleteCrossing my fingers for your best of all probable outcomes...