Friday, October 12, 2012

Looking for the Divine

Today I enter a marathon four hour mediation session with Bryan.

I am determined to find the Divine in all of this, to remember that all human beings have worth and value and deserve to be treated with dignity.  I will remember that he comes from a place of pain, and that though I can not understand his pain, I can respond with compassion.

I am also determined to bring to light the Divine within myself, as I am also of value and worth, and I too deserve to be treated with dignity.  I will stand up for myself, and I will do it with kindness.

At the end of this day, I would like to have a formal separation decree that includes formalizing child support and home ownership in a way that helps Katherine and I.  But I'd also still like to have my integrity, and I'd like to be fair to Bryan.

And then I will finish up my work day, go home to collect Katherine, and hit the road to go to my in-laws.  My father in law is very ill, and perhaps at the end of his life.  I want to tread gently into this, honoring him, honoring the family that is Katherine's blood.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  I am over my head, frightened of all that I must do.

When I breathe in, I breathe in peace; when I breathe out, I breathe out love.

I hope I remember to breathe!

2 comments:

  1. Thinking of you.......... I remember that nerve wracking day. It actually took 2 of those sessions for us. Sending peace and love.

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  2. Yep, I never want to relive MY non-divine mediation experience either!
    Crossing my fingers for your best of all probable outcomes...

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