Sunday, October 21, 2012

That breathing thing

I clearly forgot everything about breathing for the past two weeks.  It was a rough go - too many giant things to deal with, including mediation, filing divorce paperwork, an ailing father in law, an all-nighter helping said father-in-law, a refinance in jeopardy, work, motherhood, financial fears, and oh, just life in general.  It's a long list, too much to deal with.  Add in a sewage flood in the basement and it was just too much.

So, I did it wrong: I didn't work out, I ate comfort food, and I basically went into a panic.

But I also did it right: I cut myself some slack, I called in my posse (best friends ever!) and asked for help.

But this weekend I've caught my breath again.  I actually read my book of guided meditations, we went for a walk in a beautiful location, we went to a pumpkin patch, I spent time with friends.  I invited several of Katherine's friends over for a spontaneous sleepover, complete with chocolate chip pancake breakfast.  I caught up on chores, filled out yet more divorce paperwork, taught Sunday school at my UU church (a lesson about finding what is good in each of us; the children were so kind to each other and shared such sweet compliments towards each other during the lesson that it restored my faith in humanity....what a gift!), helped Katherine get her Halloween costume ready.

And Katherine and I even did our new (few weeks now) tradition: Sunday roast followed by some fun TV watching.  I don't eat a lot of meat in general, but the Sunday roast just screams "happy home" to me and I'm working hard at making sure this home feels like home.  And I'm a pretty granola mom, so when I let Katherine watch TV she is pretty blissful - it's really a treat.  Our Sunday wind down is a favorite for both of us, now.

The fridge is full, the house tidy.  I've had exercise, I've been in nature, I've shared with friends.  This week, I am determined, absolutely determined, to keep remembering to breathe.  My "to do" list is just as long as ever, and I still don't have flooring in my basement, and I have two mediation sessions this week, hoping to get it all finished and submit for the refinance.

But I feel like I have my feet under me a bit better this week.  Breathing in, breathing out.  I can do this.  I've got this.  Let's move forward!

When I breathe in, I breathe in peace; when I breathe out, I breathe out love.  Ahhhhh.

(Want to sing along with me?  Picture standing hand in hand with people you love, singing only the the part "When I breathe in, I breathe in peace; when I breathe out, I breathe out love," in a round so many times that time and space gets lost and you only feel the words love and peace and your own soft breaths...  It can bring me to tears it is so beautiful.  Here, take my hand.....let's do this together....)

PS  Does anyone out there have a version of this song with all of the harmonies?  It's not exactly pop music; I couldn't find it on YouTube and the UU Association website only has a little electronic file.

No comments:

Post a Comment