Ramblings and Musings

I had a date today.  He was nice - a good man.  And so, so, so not my man.  He was significantly heavier than in his profile pics, and he was sweet, but there was absolutely no spark whatsoever.

I am definitely holding out for a spark.

OkCupid sent me a silly message today that I'm in their top 50% of attractive users.  I'm not sure if I'm flattered or disgusted that I got this email, and I don't want to be treated like cattle (even attractive cattle), but the truth is that I wasn't feeling a zing with the connections I was receiving, so maybe now with a slightly shallower criterion added in (sigh, I'm not proud) I'll find connections with a bit of a spark.

Anyway.

This past week I've lived the life that was hard to live when I was with Bryan.  I went snowshoeing and sledding, I went to a big museum exhibit, I went to a wonderful place that provides wine, a canvas, and paint and had a girls' night out where I painted my first picture since the second grade (and had a blast, and even kind of like the results - I hung it in my bedroom!).  My date may not have been fantastic, but it was still nice to have a guy that was excited to meet me and listened deeply and shared his own experiences.  These things are so small - but they're also so big.  I feel a lot closer to being the person I want to be, and so hopeful that even more is coming, that with each coming day I am more myself.

I have also continued my work out path.  I can run farther now, and I feel changes in my body that I really like.  When I was snowshoeing I didn't even feel like I was exercising, and that was fantastic - I was just enjoying the snow, nothing more.  (I even tried to talk Katherine into going farther, but no dice.)

So, with the new year around the corner, I'm hopeful.  It's going to be a great year, and I can't wait.  I am sure there will be challenges....but I'm hoping none are as huge as those of 2012!

Now - back to obsessively checking OkCupid to see who has clicked on me.  It's a night without Katherine, and I'm in the living room by candlelight eating Trader Joe's food and having a glass of wine.  Yes, I know, I'm a wild child.  :-)  But tomorrow is work, and I plan to go in well rested.

Happy (almost) New Year's!