Saturday, December 22, 2012

An Online Flirtation

As I've mentioned here, I signed up before with an online dating service, and then realized I wasn't ready.  What I didn't mention before is that my profile hadn't garnered much interest; as my confidence is generally pretty high, I just blew it off as the crazy online world, and I didn't think much of it.

Well, the times they are a'changin'.

I'm in a good place.  My life is going well, and I'm proud of myself and my accomplishments.  I think I really AM ready to date, and that I know what I want.  This must have come through, because oh-my-goodness I am getting a lot of attention!  Seriously, this is the best ego boost ever.  Multiple gentlemen contact me every day, and more "favorite" me, and my email is abuzz with new messages from OkCupid.

It is really fun.  I won't lie, I am absolutely lapping it up.  My friend said that I was like Scarlett O'Hara at the picnic, with gentlemen all around me, and I could point to them and say, "And YOU may get my dessert..." and though I am as un-Scarlett-like as they come, I giggle at the image.

Most of the gentlemen are a very, very, very bad fit for me.  Some must be cruising for green cards (Sri Lanka?  Saudi Arabia?  No thank you.), some are cruising for casual sex, some are looking for cougars (23 years old means you were born when I was 20!!!).

Some are men who are likely very nice guys, genuine and kind, but just not a fit for me.  I reply to those ones: the ones who actually read the profile, responded to something that caught their attention, and then tell me a bit about themselves.  If they took the trouble to reach out to me and compliment me, the least I can do is respond. I thank them, and then tell them it's not a match, and wish them well.

(Thank you to Marni Battista at Dating With Dignity for advice on how to handle this stuff with integrity.  I'm not associated with their website at any level, and I've never paid for their services, but I think that Marni's advice is spot on and I'm following it.  See the link on the side under links I like... )

But then there are the interesting guys.  Enough of a physical spark from the pictures (I don't need a supermodel, but a little "oh, he's cute" is a good start), and then a deep interest in the profile.  A little cruise of the questions to see if our values align....and a conversation begins.

I've been invited out on multiple dates.  After chatting a bit, one guy inadvertantly revealed a bit of a temper, and I quickly bowed out.  I'm moving slowly with a couple more - it's easy to buy myself a bit of time over the holidays, because I'm booked with holiday events with my daughter, and I'm not lying when I say it has to wait until January.

So, I'd say it's going swimmingly.  I'm putting myself out there, and the Universe seems to be saying "I approve.  Keep going!"

But there's this one guy.  Twinkles in his eyes.  Active.  Professional.  Dedicated father.  Playful.  Intriguing.  And totally into me!  We have a date and location on the calendar, and I'm looking forward to it, and actually wishing I wasn't so busy so that we could do it sooner.  We've graduated to the telephone, and I like him more, not less, as a result.

I Googled him, too.  He is who he says he is, and I like that.  I like it a lot.

It feels a bit like having an imaginary friend, conversing with someone I've never met.  I could get really into this guy, in theory, but I'm taking it reeeeaalllly slow, following my own sense of timing and such, listening to my gut.

Merry Christmas to me.  2013 is going to be a great year!

1 comment:

  1. OMG! I'm so excited for you!! I can't wait to hear. Merry Christmas!