Thursday, July 12, 2012


Tonight was the most wonderful gathering.

More than a dozen of my friends - strong, smart, sassy women - showed up to clear the bad energy out of my house.  Some of them were really into it and came with their own smudge sticks and Tibetan bells, and some of them hid behind their wineglasses and likely wondered if I'd really gone around the bend this time.  But all of them love me enough to support me, and they set aside their own feelings and showed up in every way for me.

I asked that nobody ex-bash.  This was not about Bryan, this was about setting free the anger and anxiety of divorce; this was about clearing the house of cancer and ill health, loss of love and divorce.  There are still pictures of Bryan on some of the walls, and I do not wish to eradicate him forever - he is Katherine's father, and holds a place in my life.  This wasn't about him.  This was about reclaiming my space, about opening up my home to goodness and light.

I read a prayer of blessing, and I choked up as I asked for that blessing, and a friend wrapped her arm around me.  Another friend lead us in a little meditation.  And then we smudged the house, rang bells, and sprayed fresh saltwater (gathered from a beach near my house just an hour before) into the corners.  We opened every window, and we lit every candle (and as I am a candle fiend, it's just lucky we didn't light the whole place on fire).

Then we gathered together in one room, and my friends each told me what they wished for me, and what they thought of as they went through my house - happiness, peace, love, laughter, good health, abundance.  And then, feeling the love, I asked anyone who needed to feel the blessings of these strong women to speak up with their own needs.  Several spoke up.  One cried tears for an ill parent, another asked for blessings for her struggling daughter, another for her cancer struggle.  I knew the unspoken prayers of several - other women going through divorce, depression, parenting struggles, career issues.  Even those who were not as "into" it seemed to get into it, and shared warm and wonderful thoughts with me.

One friend pointed out how incredibly supportive and wonderful and strong this group felt, and reminded all of us to draw upon that female power that resides in each of us.

So tonight, with my house fragrant with sage, and the echos of my friends' laughter ringing in my ears (oh yes, there was a great deal of laughter), my belly full of the good food they brought, I feel so much peace.

What a wonderful, wonderful day.  I am truly blessed.  Being held in the love of my girlfriends, allowing myself to unabashedly seek their strength and goodness, and allowing myself to hear their warm words, was a gift to myself.

For anyone going through pain, I recommend this highly.  Do it in the love of friends, and allow the blessings to wash over you.  I did it with a lot of laughter, but make no mistake, mine was a laughter of pure joy,  not lacking in reverence.  Whether you believe in this woo-woo stuff or not, all I can tell you is that I go to bed tonight feeling clearer than I have in ages, and feeling more hopeful than you can imagine.

Let this be a house of peace.  Amen.


  1. A house of peace. It sounds incredible... As do those friends.

  2. I wanted to do this when my estranged spouse first moved out, but kept finding excuses not to. Thanks for sharing your experience; I think I'm out of excuses now!

  3. BLW, it IS incredible - the kind of incredible that brings pricks of tears to my eyes and goosebumps on my arms. It is beautiful. And my friends? They are the real deal, full of goodness and love and warmth, and I never forget for a minute how fortunate I am to have them. I wish that ALL women (and people) could experience the depths of friendship such as my friends have brought me.

    3kids, welcome here! I can't tell you how GOOD the whole evening felt, and if you've been considering it, I recommend it highly. It is a gift to yourself, and to those whom attend. I hope you do it!

  4. LIKE, LIKE, LIKE!!!! Brenda

  5. I totally embrace the woo-woo. It's been too powerful in my life when needed most. Loved this post and the positivity you welcomed into the sanctuary of home.

  6. I love this-- you made me cry. My girlfriends are always the ones to play a female power song, make me laugh till it hurts, or just sit with me quietly when I need it most. I worry about men. How do they live without this?